Blood Diner
by Jackie Kong
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Product details
Actor: Carl Crew, LaNette La France, Lisa Elaina, Rick Burks, Roger DauerDirector: Jackie Kong
Edition: VHS Tape
Audio: English (Original Language), Analog
Format: Color, NTSC
Release Date: 1989-09-27
Audience Rating: Unrated
Publisher: Vestron Video
Studio: Vestron Video
VHS Movie Reviews of Blood Diner
Movie Review: You have to have a sense of humor
Summary: 5 Stars
This movie is so funny and you have to have a sense of humor to watch this. It's not meant to be scarry but gross funny. I saw this movie when I was 12 and to this day I am waiting for it to make it to DVD. It is low budget but worth the chuckles.Movie Review: As much fun as using crutches
Summary: 1 Stars
While I hate to deprecate any low-budget effort that actually gets made, BLOOD DINER, like the refrigerated body parts it delights in, stinks on ice.
I delight in pop culture and can appreciate a good horror spoof more than most, but the whole idea of a satire is to be FUNNY, even if only in silly ways. I saw this film at a "Grindhouse"-series screening with the equally bloody but vastly superior LA HORRIPILANTE BESTIA HUMANA {NIGHT OF THE BLOODY APES}(Mexico-1968), which had the audience in stitches. The writer of BLOOD DINER, who then introduced his film, said BLOODY APES would be "a tough act to follow". His fears proved all too well grounded, as the audience got a master-class on the difference between a hilariously inept film that actually WANTS to be scary and a disastrously inept one that tries for Troma-style archness through gross laughs and mega-splatter but fails to generate a single guffaw.
When the writer, along with a producer and one of the stars, reminisced before BLOOD DINER, it was obvious that they had a wonderful time making the film, despite the difficulties they each had with the reportedly touchy and humorless director, Jackie Kong (who wasn't even TOLD of the screening...lucky lady). Their "we-survived-Jackie" repartee was far funnier than anything in the film itself, which overflows with amateur attempts at comic overacting and with gags, both verbal and visual, that consistently overestimate their ability to shock, amuse or even generate a blip on the audience's EEG. (If this EVER comes out on DVD and someone forces you to watch it, choose the commentary track -- if they're bright enough to record one; the film's actual sound is as poorly recorded as it was written.)
The fairly recent THE LOST SKELETON OF CADAVERA proves that a well-conceived horror satire can be a howl, just as the classic THE REANIMATOR shows that "the-bloodier-the-better" philosophy of film-making can have take an audience beyond fear into helpless laughter. Despite its smugness, BLOOD DINER merely feels desperate, like a 5-year-old trying to tell "poopy jokes" to get attention and failing to make enough impression to even be sent to his room. (Though if he was in the back seat of the car, I probably WOULD say, "Don't make me turn around...!")
On reflection, maybe the smell coming off this film had nothing to do with all the body parts. It was just the collective flop sweat of some probably nice guys who wasted their chance by aiming too low with too much contempt for both their subject and their audience. When will people learn that MST-3000 humor actually requires the filmmakers to have more than a collective IQ-80?
Movie Review: Hush Puppy Head is awesome!!!
Summary: 5 Stars
This movie is great--the heavy-set hot 80's chick that has sex and gets her head dumped in batter and then a deep fryer only to come up with a big hush puppy on her head--masterful!!! Please release it on DVD!!!!!!!!!Movie Review: Gory but hysterical movie
Summary: 4 Stars
This is a sort-of sequel to 1963's BLOOD FEAST (which, by the way, is on DVD with a transfer and extras so good it's almost sinful), a movie that is terrible but almost as funny (unintentionally) as this one is (intentionally). This isn't exactly a movie for everyone - if you enjoyed BLOOD FEAST you'll enjoy this one. The gore is so over-the-top as to be hysterical - one of my favorite scenes is when Georgie throws the disco club bouncer out in the street - I'm not going to spoil it, but if you've seen this you know what I'm talking about. There's a lot of gratutious nudity and violence, which is surprising, considering that the director, Jackie Kong, is a female, but it is hilarious. Uncle Anwar's brain never fails to make me laugh out loud, especially when he's screaming at Georgie.
You should know this about the DVD, however - even if it is all region, if it's in PAL it will be unplayable here since PAL is a different broadcast format than NTSC, which is the U.S broadcast standard. If it's coming out on DVD in PAL, however, odds are good that it'll be released in NTSC as well. Keep your eyes open for it!
Movie Review: DISGUSTING....
Summary: 1 Stars
i just saw this movie for the second time in 13 years and this movie is nasty as hell. i first saw this when i was 6yrs old and my cousins at the time thought it was funny but its nasty as hell and its not scary. its dumb and the nudity is nasty as well never thought 80s chicks were disgusting. the body parts are fake as hell and are plastic blow up dolls. dont see it the only thing that i got from it is a sick stomach because the movie is nasty
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